Harrison Ford

from Getting In Touch With My Inner Bitch

Harrison Ford
Words and Music by Christine Lavin
Recorded live at the Caffe Lena in Saratoga Springs NY
on August 20 1999 by Bob Noble of Hill & Valley Studio

A small town in the Rockies
The Snake River Grill
My friend and I were leaving
We were stuffed to the gills
We walked toward the exit
The door swung open wide
Another couple is coming in
Now I'm eye to eye with

Harrison Ford
The only living movie star I've ever adored
Harrison Ford
He's stepping back, he's holding the door
Harrison Ford
Takes all my concentration not to fall on the floor
At the feet of that fabulous mega-movie star
Harrison Ford (sigh)

For one brief moment, we are face to face
Our eyeballs are locked
We are sharing the same space
Suddenly, I'm overcome with emotion
I hear music playing now I'm walking in slow motion

It's Harrison Ford
Those eyes those lips that hair
Harrison Ford
Our breath comes out white clouds mingles and hangs in the air
Harrison Ford
If I could only tell him how much I care
I want to kiss Harrison Ford
But I don't dare

'Cause he paralyzes me with his laser like gaze
Time stops, he communicates telepathically with me through the haze
And he says to me just using a little bit his eyeballs and just
a little tiny bit of his eyebrows he says to me:

Now you know that I know that you know who I am
Now you know that I know you are my biggest fan
But I'm out here having dinner with my lovely wife
We live in this tiny town because we need a life, OY!
I'm nothing like the character of Indiana Jones
I'm just a regular guy
Okay.. with better brawn and brains and bones
To keep you moving little lady, I'll flash you my crooked smile
Something you can tell your friends for quite a long long while
In case you haven't noticed, I'm still holding the door for you
Don't ruin the evening for all of us, just keep walking through
Put one foot in front of the other, my hands are getting cold
Your friend is wondering what's going on keep on moving I command you
Do as you are told!

So I did
I obeyed his command
Even telepathically Harrison Ford's a powerful man
I kept on walking out that door
As it closed behind me I knew this moment would forever bind me to

Harrison Ford
I'll never forget our mental embrace
Harrison Ford
Probably thought I was a psycho case
Harrison Ford
Lucky for me he does not carry mace

Yes, I love Harrison Ford. He's my own personal tender tough guy.
And I know you women love him. And I know you guys admire him too and
would probably like to do a woodworking project with him in the garage,
because you know he used to be a carpenter before he was an actor,
I'm talking about a real carpenter, not like Bob Villa, that fake
carpenter on television. You know I heard a rumor that Bob Villa's
going out with Martha Stewart. I Hope they don't have children!
Do you know who would spend the whole day with Bob Villa and Martha
Stewart? Nobody!

Anyway, I know some of you are thinking "this is really pathetic.
She has a three second experience with a movie star an she writes
a three minute song". But if that's what you're thinking you would
be very very wrong, because it was a one second experience and it's
a four minute song.

But I didn't say the name of the town where this happened because I
want to protect his privacy in case we ever meet.

And I love him SO much that whenever I hear his name, I hear music
And maybe you do too... it sounds like this:

(digital boomerang sampler on...)

Harrison Ford
Harrison
Harrison Ford
Harrison
Harrison Ford
Harrison
Harrison Ford
Harrison
Harrison Ford
Harrison
Harrison Ford
Harrison
Harrison Ford...The only living movie star I ever adored
Harrison Ford...The only living movie star I ever adored
Harrison Ford...The only living movie star I ever adored
Harrison Ford...The only living movie star I ever adored
Harrison Ford...The only living movie star I ever adored
You're the only living movie star I ever adored
You're the only living movie star I ever adored
You're the...
Harrison Harrison Harrison Harrison Harrison Fo-o-ord
Harrison Harrison Harrison Harrison Harrison Fo-o-ord
Harrison Harrison Harrison Harrison Harrison Fo-o-ord
I'm so lucky that he doesn't carry mace
I'm so lucky that he doesn't carry mace
I'm so lucky that he doesn't carry mace
I'm so lucky that he doesn't carry mace
I'm so lucky that he doesn't carry mace

updated 8 years ago